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Becky

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Writer's Block: Just Say No! [Feb. 24th, 2012|12:09 pm]
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What bad habit have you broken?

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I haven't bitten my fingernails in a good 5 or 6 years, although it was a very bad habit of mine for about a decade.
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Writer's Block: Doppelganger Week [Feb. 1st, 2012|07:00 pm]
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[Current Mood |hungryhungry]

Who is your look-alike?

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I've been told that I look like a young Winona Ryder when she had short hair.
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Writer's Block: B.Y.O.B. Holidays [Dec. 13th, 2011|10:36 pm]
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What is on your holiday wish list this year?

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As dorky as this is, I'm hoping to get an immersion blender. I've been getting into cooking more, and traditional blenders just don't work nearly as well for purees and bisques. I'd love to make tomato bisque and grilled cheese sandwiches for those cold winter evenings, but hot soup in a traditional blender is a danger combination I'm not willing to attempt.
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Writer's Block: B.Y.O.B. Holidays [Dec. 13th, 2011|10:33 pm]
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Which December holidays do you celebrate, and why?

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My immediate family celebrates the winter solstice, except that we all agree that we've pretty much just co-opted the usual traditions of Christmas for it. We have a Christmas tree, Christmas presents, stockings, etc. We're all more or less agnostic or atheist, so we don't exactly go in much for religion. Don't tell our conservative extended relatives that, though. :-P
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Writer's Block: Oodles of noodles [Oct. 25th, 2011|11:23 am]
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What is your favorite go-to pasta dish?

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I fucking LOVE my dad's bolognese. I've learned to make my own version of it, and I honestly have to eat way more than is healthy before I get tired of it. Tomato and ground beef and jalapeno summer-sausage, onions and oregano and vegemite. Delicious!
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Looking back on life things [Aug. 3rd, 2011|02:15 pm]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

So I read a thread on Something Awful where a guy found out his wife has a fatal neurological disease and he's trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that he'll soon be a widower with three small children to take care of. A lot of people suggested having his wife make videos and write letters so that their kids can have help remembering her, and it got me to thinking. Maybe I should compile a file or something somewhere that includes all the emails and messages I wrote to Chris or about Chris in the early stages of our relationship. Just a little chronicle of how our relationship unfolded. It's sort of sappy and dumb, but I don't want to accidentally lose this stuff in an account purge or something.
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Writer's Block: Stomach pains [Jul. 10th, 2011|04:24 pm]
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If you had to participate in an eating contest, what food would you pick to eat?

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Crispy, delicious bacon. As a kid I could go through a literal pound of bacon in a day, and usually I only stopped because we ran out. I have never reached a point where I said "I've had too much bacon."
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I hate you, world [Jun. 13th, 2011|06:25 am]
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]

I made a post last night about how my day was going pretty spectacularly shittily. It turns out that it can be worse.

My boyfriend came to visit me on super-short notice because I really needed him, and that was good. But when I sent him down to grab me some ice cream and I rang the nurse to give me my insulin, she started arguing with me about how no one else takes so much insulin in such a short period of time. I asked her what the fuck she was talking about (in more polite terms) and apparently she's never had anyone eat, take insulin, then eat again 3 hours later and take more insulin. She is somehow convinced that this is not what fast-acting insulin like Humalog is for. So I pretty much told her that I've been doing it this way for 9 years under the instruction of multiple doctors, so she can think what she likes and just give me the damn insulin.

At 2:30am they had to draw blood to check my heparin levels, which I knew was coming so I was fine with it. I went to sleep right afterwards, but was rudely awoken when the nurse came in to fuck around with my IV and then proceeded to leave a light on on the other side of the room. So I had to get up and wheel my IV pole around so I could turn it back off. Then at 5am they came in for another blood draw, at which point I asked them why they couldn't have done that shit at 2:30 instead and they proceeded to ignore me and not explain shit. Also, the phlebotomist swabbed me with alcohol (which I'm allergic to) before I could say anything, and then didn't help me wash it off or anything like that. She is the third person I've had to tell not to use alcohol, because apparently writing it on the board by my door is too much work.

And now I'm awake at 6:30am because getting stabbed in the hand for a blood draw is a pretty effective way of waking someone up and keeping them awake.

I CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS SHIT. I'm basically confined to a 10x10 room, the food is stunningly boring or just plain bad, I'm getting stabbed with needles on a regular basis, and every time I try to sleep someone comes in and fucks with me. It's like a surprisingly humane prison, except with occasional torture added. Until now I've had some really decent nursing staff, but having a really bitchy nurse thrown in right when I'm already extremely upset and vulnerable is pushing me to the breaking point. If this gets much worse, I'm going to be in danger of just checking myself out of the hospital against medical advice.
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Today just fucking sucks [Jun. 12th, 2011|11:44 pm]
[Current Mood |distresseddistressed]

So today is a front-runner for the "worst day ever" award for me. To preface, I'm in the hospital again because my PFTs were low, and I got a PICC line in my right arm on Tuesday.

Late last night I noticed that the veins in my right shoulder were a fair bit more noticeable than the veins in my left shoulder. The last time that happened, I had a clot and had to go on anti-coagulants for three months. So I let my nurse know, and in the morning I let my doctor know. I also called up my dad (also known as awesome-doctor-super-dad) and he agreed with me that my symptoms seemed to indicate a clot. Apparently he called my doctor to talk to her, then called me back and said that SHE said that she didn't think it was a clot, but we'd check for one just in case.

So they send me off for an ultra-sound of my shoulder, and it turns out that I do have a clot, just like I thought. Since the last time I had one it was sub-clavian (below my collar bone), my dad was wondering why I hadn't been put on extra anti-coagulants as a precaution. When he asked my doctor, she replied that I was up and mobile, so she hadn't worried about it. At which point my dad pointed out that walking is all well and good for preventing clots in the legs, but it's not gonna do shit for my shoulders and arms. Durr.

So the current competent-doctor score is Dad:2 Pulmonologist:0.

Anyhoo, because I keep getting clots when I use PICC lines, they're using a peripheral IV. Two, in fact, because now I'm on a constant Heparin drip. PICC lines can be kept in for up to a year, peripheral IVs have to be removed (and replaced in a different spot) every 3 days. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. And because the hospital is a cheap bastard, I can't get a nice portable hip-pack IV pump for my CONSTANT Heparin IV, so I'm tethered to a big fuck-off pole for the next 4 days. And they can't draw blood from a peripheral IV, so any and all labs (which have been increased to make sure my Heparin levels are okay) involve a standard blood-draw with even more needles in my arms.

Fuck this. Just fuck this shit. Sometimes I wish they could just pop me in a medically-induced coma so I don't have to be awake for the constant hassling and poking and prodding and shit I have to put up with. I'm so tired and I just want to lay down and cry, but I can't even do that because people keep coming in to take my vitals and give me meds and shit like that. I just want a little privacy so I can wallow in my misery in peace.
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I never update LiveJournal at all [May. 24th, 2011|11:52 pm]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]

So it's nearing four months now since my last update. I actually visit LiveJournal just about every day to read other people's posts, but I so rarely make a post myself. I guess I don't have much to post about. My health's been kind of off-and-on this past semester, causing me to miss a fair amount of class time, but I talked with my professor and I've got a way to make up for that. I'm on Cipro again to beat down whatever bugs are living in my lungs this time around, too. I'm not sure that it's working as well as it has in the past, so I may have to go on a different antibiotic to get me up to snuff. I dearly hope I don't end up in the hospital over this, but it's a distinct possibility. Hopefully I can get away with home IVs instead if it comes to that. As it is I owe a lot of my day-to-day functionality to painkillers.

So basically my body is still a traitorous bitch, but I'm pretty used to that by now. School is going okay for the moment, and Chris is still the light of my life and blah blah blah. I love him to pieces, he does so much for me and makes me happier than I ever thought I could be, but I really don't need to rehash all that in every post. Other than my iffy health, my life is going pretty okay.
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