| about Chris |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|01:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
This is a post that's more for the purposes of personal introspection than anything else, but you can feel free to read it if you like.
Sometimes I dream that I'm single again, enjoying flirting with people and feeling the thrill of uncertainty. When I wake up, I can't help but wonder if I really miss being single, or if it was genuinely just a dream.
And then I think about Chris. I remember being in the hospital, alone and miserable, and just really needing someone to love me for me despite all the medical shit. Parents and family are, I feel, sort of obligated to love you because they're family. But friends and lovers are people who look at you with a fresh perspective and like what they see. They choose to be with you.
And Chris... Chris chose to be with me, to love me. He held me in his arms and told me he loved me even while I was hooked up to IVs and breathing treatments. At my worst, my most miserable, he still loved me. I needed that human connection so much, and he gave me that and more.
He's so warm and soft and strong. He's the sweetest man I know, not to mention creative and smart and literate. I don't know if I can ever repay him for everything that he's done for me and continues to do for me. He makes me feel happy and safe and confident. He's the only person that I'm not ashamed to have see me cry (well, not much, at least). He's my rock. I trust him more than I trust just about anyone else in the world.
I so desperately want to make him happy. I want his life to be good, I want to see him smile. I want to be everything to him that he is to me.
He is, in short, my love. |
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